DREAMS

The New Moon Dream Analysis of 10* Cancer, July 2000

Proper names have been omitted and replaced by the type of association the
dreamer has to the person, described within the parenthesis, "[   ]."

The Dream 
"I find myself in a circus. We are getting ready for our performance."
Her association to "circus" reminded her of Ani diFranco's line in a song, the
lyrics of which are, "...Life in the circus ain't easy."  This association suggests
that she is about to perform in the "circus of life" which is, of course, about her own life.
"I sign up to jump off something very high and then I get nervous and don't
want to do it.  I want one of the persons on stilts to come over to where I have
to jump so I can stand on his shoulders. But later I realize that won't be very
glamorous."

She said that jumping would be more daring and exciting; it would be a risk.
Inquiring about it, this feeling reminded her of her own habit to set limits that
are too high; in effect, her tendency to 'shoulder' too much responsibility.

"Our circus isn't the only thing going on; it's a whole carnival."

 We could take this to mean that this dream comments on the fact that life is
 happening everywhere beyond her own personal life.  So here, in terms of the
 dream imagery, it's about life in a collective sense, beyond her own personal
 "circus."

"A few girls are standing next to us and playing their own version of, 'Let's Make a Deal.'"

This is a reference to a dreams 'development' stage, common to most
dreams.  In my Dream Workbook, attention to this stage is important because
it points toward what's about to take place: the scene is set in the 'setting' of
a dream, whereas the act begins in the 'development' stage.  In this dream,
the 'proposition' or offer from the unconscious is quite candid: "Let's Make a
Deal."  Of this game show, she said, "I used to love this show.  It's a game of
chance--you close one door and another one opens. There are always more
options than you can handle(italics mine) but you have to be quick with your
decisions and there is no time for mulling it over and regret."  The
associations she made to the girls were, "innocent, creative and amicable."
This suggests that her dream ego is in fact ready and willing to make a deal
with her instinctive, or innocent, approach to her own inner 'deal maker', which
is none other than her unconscious.

"It seems as if the director of the circus is nervous. He realizes that he forgot
to put out a table with information on it and a big sign.  I tell him I'll do it and
then I'll tell people about it.  He's so thankful, and I'm so thankful I don't
have to jump.  Then I get to talk to people."

Her associations to "circus director" is someone who is supposed to, "be in
charge, cool, calm, and collected, outgoing, organized, coordinator and
entertainer extraordinaire."  That's quite a list, I thought to myself.   "And
what kind of person would actually be capable of pulling these off in real life, I
asked?"  No response.  Continuing, "What kind of a man is he, as a person?"
She said, "Hard to say; a little stressed, a little frazzled and overworked."
"Does he remind you of anyone?"  "Me" she said.

So here we have a bridge; the emotional connection to a dream image, the
circus director.  He is her own "inner director" who has all these extra-ordinary
qualities but who also forgets to put out the sign, which consequently gets her
off the hook.  He is an image which portrays her too high expectations of
herself.  No doubt the basis of his nervousness.  So her would-be performer is
further reduced to an onlooker because her own 'inner director' is also
overworked and frazzled.  The last line, two paragraphs above, where she says
that she's thankful and doesn't have to jump and can go talk to people is a
waking life value.  Personally, she is an outgoing and friendly person; she'll
strike up a conversation with nearly anyone.  This is how she actually
behaves.  Thus, no new information is being given on the subject level.  The
object level doesn't apply.  So then we have to ask why is it there?  This
sequence therefore is suspect and is not as it appears to be: a kind of
resolution to her dilemma.  In this case, since the apparent intent of the
setting and development in this dream hasn't been realized--her
performance--it remains unfinished.  The dream then attempts to approach
this same issue from another side, but now uses more pronounced dream
imagery.

"Then I'm w/[many friends], all the serious dancers and we're playing a game
of cards with the largest life-size playing cards I've ever seen.  We are playing
poker."

Whenever a dream image appears different than it actually is in waking life,
the dream is drawing attention to it; it deserves a closer look.  The only
association she had to 'poker' was that it was a game you played with cards.
Of her 'many friends', she described them as being "seriously committed to
dancing; dedicated."  She had admired them greatly.  From these
associations her Guiding Self is commenting about a 'game' that one should
be committed and dedicated to.  "Not unlike life?" I said.  She agreed.

"[Her previous teacher] gives me a warm hug and I'm surprised he remembers me."

I ask, "who is [the teacher] and what is he like as a person?"  She said,  "He
is a Mexican Butoh Master who taught an intensive three week training at our
college a couple of years back.  Butoh is a Japanese dance that was created
after the bombings in Hiroshima as a way to cope with all of the grief and
loss.  It is called 'the dance of the dead' and was probably one of the most
challenging things I have ever done. He is intimidating and comes from the
old school of student/teacher relationship. He expected us to dance even if we
had a fever of 103 degrees (which I did at one point in the class)."  I
recapitulate and say, "Your teacher is represented as being one of the most
serious and dedicated players in this dance of 'life and death' that you've ever
met.  In your dream, he is there to remind you of this fact, even if it hurts.
His purpose is to teach you of the very real fact that you are also playing this
game of life, here, now, with him and your friends--with life itself.  You're
surprised that he remembers you because in your waking life you had almost
forgotten about what he represents to you, this kind of commitment to life."

"I'm the dealer and have just finished shuffling.  I seem to get a very strange
hand.  Stuff from history, anecdotes about random things on old newsprint
and paper."

She's now placed herself in the position of 'dealer' (see above, the contrast to
her dreams meaning to "Let's Make a Deal") who has dealt her something that
she sees as strange, stuff from history on old newsprint.  I ask, "What is
history?"  To this she replied, "It's real, it happened; it cannot be changed no
matter what we think happened or wanted to have happen."

(I didn't understand what this development in her dream meant until I had time to
go over it later when we reviewed her month's dream activity).  It was then when I
asked her which are you more comfortable with, the future or to the past?  "The
future, of course."   With this we can see the sharp dichotomy in her emerge from
the symbolism within this part of her dream: even though she identifies with the
future and projects a great deal more of herself into it--even though her goals are
unrealistically too high and too much to shoulder--this contrasts with how she
relates to the past, which she sees as strange when she places herself into the role
of 'dealer.'

"I say something flippant about my cards.  I end up sharing it when it's my turn in
the closest fashion to poker I can think of.  I try to be quick because [my two male
friends] have a class to sit in on at 10:30, it's now 10:28 am.  I say something
flippant about my cards and [her female friend, one of the dancers that she
admires] says, "'Blank' got me through my strep throat last week. Don't
underestimate the value of 'blank'".  Then the dreamer thought, "I hadn't thought
of it that way."

END OF DREAM

"What is strep throat?"  She said that she used to get a very painful strep throat
when she didn't 'speak her truth' or express herself appropriately.  To 'blank' she
said, "if something is blank, that means that anything's possible; it's open."  So
when your friend says, "'blank' got me through my strep throat last week" we could
take this to mean from your own perspective that expressing a potential in yourself
or 'blank' in actuality may be painful to you, it may seem like a 'death' to your
high idealistic nature, but when you can begin see yourself in the role of 'dealer' as
a kind of teacher to yourself, then limitation or pain has meaning, and this should
help you to get through."

More than she ever has before, this dream has shown her that when she tries
to shoulder too much, her own inner 'circus director' is forced to sabotage her
plans where she's reduced to the role of onlooker rather than as an acting,
dancing and leading participant in her own life.  Now she understands that it's
imperative that she remains in the role of 'dealer' rather than 'circus director.'
She was also able to see that time is short relative to this issue, that there's
only 'a couple minutes left.'  Both her conscious dominant--the side of her that
tends to jump from too high, and her unconscious dominant--the side of her
that she's quite out of touch with (see, above, "No comment" and is also the
unconscious source of her own nervousness), has been shown to her as if for
the first time.  These were halting self-realizations.

Finally, her dream also points toward a collective level interpretation (see
above, "Our circus isn't the only thing going on; it's a whole carnival.")
Therefore we could say that 'blank' is an allusion to an unmanifest potential.
It can represent an unconscious content that has yet to be fully realized, or
brought into play by the ego.  Such things are always symbolized as 'wholes'
or perhaps in this case 'blanks', since they have not, as of yet, succumbed to
conscious incarnation, as it were.  The conscious incarnation of an unconscious
content reminds us of the myth of 'dismemberment'; that an original
unconscious whole has entered into time/space and needs to be
'dismembered.'  It's the only way that the ego can relate to such a thing, when
it's broken up  or 'dismembered' into manageable pieces. This is always a
painful process, and I suspect this is what her friend refers to when she
comments on her strep throat.  As we know, it's the meaning of our pain and
suffering that helps us get through something.  Lacking this reflective capacity
(as in one's own history!) we easily fall prey to all kinds of self-delusions,
extreme behaviors, or unfulfilling life-choices.

Her birth data and the date of the dream have been provided, so that anyone
interested may cast the charts and draw their own conclusions, in terms of a
meaning toward astrological synchronicity.
 

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